I know it's that time of the month. . .

Because I hate everybody. In my head, I break up with my boyfriend for a variety of reasons, even though he's great. I eat lots of pastry because I once read a statistic that women's bodies make room for 17% more food during this time of the month. I calculated, based on what I want to do, that eight pastries equals 17% more of my normal diet. If I say or do anything irrational at this particular time of the month and someone asks me if I have PMS, I go ape shit. I feel like everyone is going out and having a good time, but not inviting me (which could be true because I hate everybody and they may sense it).