Don't wear pajamas to the mall

Because you look like a poor, dirty slob.

I realize that the closer you look to going to bed, the more stylish your outfit these days - but why this stupid trend? I say those of us who still have a reasonable level of self-esteem should take a cue from the people of Libya and return this country to sanity and real clothing. Need to test whether you qualify for the revolt with enough self-esteem? Ask yourself if you'd be on a reality t.v. show in which you lived in a mansion with fifteen strippers to outlast them in zany competitions involving whipped cream, swimming pools, mud-wrestling and worm-eating all for a grand prize of $500,000. Was the answer no? Then join me in revolt. Don't let idiots think it's acceptable to wear bedroom slippers to the grocery store and baggy plaid pajama pants at The Outback.