Hey Kate, Guess What I Ate?

I ate the best blueberry cake donut of my life at Orangeside Luncheonette. It's my fifth donut of July, beating my annual total for the past 7 years because Orangeside is just that good. I think about the soft pillowy sweetness when I'm not eating them and fantasize about going down there at 8 in the morning, when that weird fat guy will inevitably be standing outside drinking an Amstel Light that he doesn't even bother to hide in a paper bag, and eating a donut that will bring me the happiness of the universe. Last week, I had the chocolate with banana glaze and crushed peanuts. Prior to that, I had the almond crunch. If I had a baby, I'd sell it for a beautiful square Orangeside donut. You can also buy them at the co-op bakery. They are better than Neill's. They are better than Sarah Palin's career going up in flames and Michelle Bachmann finally getting the appropriate recognition as a racist jackass.

Don't waste your money on Gilt -the crappy baklava almost broke my implanted tooth and the overpriced cuisine can be beat, easily.

Cafe Romeo's food is bland.

Press 200 is full of guidos and they have great food (and therefore great people watching).

The food is great but the service at Oaxaca is terrible. You could wait fifteen minutes for a glass of water and get a guilt trip for asking for something they are out of. "I mean, I could go to the store and buy that, but you don't want me to do that, do you?" However, the tableside guacamole and the tamale lead me to stuff a bottle of water in my purse and just close my eyes and pretend I am at my mother's house.

Don't order sangria at Geronimo.

Get brunch at Soul de Cuba and order a cafe social. Don't wear tight clothes.

I recommend the dumplings at Asian Kitchen, but the chicken peanut salad may have made me ill or it could have been psychosomatic because the chicken was a strange color and weird consistency and I couldn't stop thinking about how it was un-chicken like and my neighbor went missing last week. I feel fine now and it turns out he moved out, but still. . .