The Vatican Is Like A 3,000 Year Old Vampire Who's Been Collecting Antiquities For Centuries

On my recent trip to Italy, I was able to visit the Vatican Museum, inside Vatican City, where I did not get a new passport stamp. The museum is full of incredible things that the Catholic Church has been collecting for centuries and yes, it reminds me of really wealthy vampires who have a mysterious fortune that they've been amassing through the ages by saving antiquities and investing for hundreds, if not thousands of years and the billions are so vast and date back so far that you don't even know what it fully entails. That's the Vatican. That museum has so many priceless works of art that they are piled on top of each other in some rooms. It's one of the only religions I'm aware of that actually has a career hierarchy where you can get promoted in a sense, further and further up the Catholic career ladder, until you get a special hat. Outside the museum are many gift shops selling religious relics. I went into one and when the salesperson offered to help me, I asked if they sold a big silk hat as a souvenir and he said no, nobody sells that.

On the plus side of Catholicism, people who truly believe in their faith are extremely charitable. They have one of the best refugee relief organizations in the world and they've done much good. However, like any organization with oodles of money and power in the hands of a few men, and only men, lots of things have gone wrong. Sex scandals are always tragic and I'm sorry for all of those victims and impressed by their bravery in coming forward, but covering those scandals up did a complete disservice to the faithful that still hasn't been repaired. I happened to be at the museum when some of the most recent scandals were unfolding and I'd hoped to be able to ask the Pope a few questions before his last day in office, but I couldn't find him on Facebook.

When I came home from Italy, I picked up a great little puppy, Truffles Corgstein.



As you can see, she's adorable. Our cats are not thrilled with the new addition and their distaste for the situation has been no secret. At first, Rocky even tried to make deals to get us to give her back:



When that didn't work, he went on a hunger strike for a few days, which we were ok with because he's sort of a fat slob anyway. His frustration is warranted, since Truffles has already peed on the cat bed and has been trying on his clothes: