I visited my friend in the hospital after she delivered this ten pound baby. She was still recuperating at the hospital from delivering Ginormo, Jr. on Saturday afternoon. She felt the need to explain, in detail and at length, the horror of birthing a huge dumpling such as Ginormo. She wanted me to know what the labor pains were like, how getting on all fours helped, and the talk that transpired when the medical team ultimately decided that her dormitory refrigerator-sized baby wasn't going to fit through her PanaMAMA Canal. Better luck next time, sport.
Ginormo is also very strong and has already punched her in the face. He's adorable. I'm going to babysit and train him to be my henchman. Actually, since half the people I know seem to be having babies (Is there a baby boom happening? Was it caused by the hippies at Occupy Wall Street?), I'm considering opening up Auntie Rachel's Daycare and Krav Maga Center for Infants and Toddlers. My empire has always needed muscle and I feel like I've finally solved that puzzle. I'll replace breast milk with muscle milk. It'll be great.
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