Thursday, September 26, 2013

Hurry Up And Mail Those Letters, The Guv'ment Is About To Close!

Look, I know it seems scary, but it's the only way to stop the abuse of welfare. Heh just kidding. This is the result of getting out the vote and giving it to dumb people. Those are the people that used to stay at home and shoot tin cans off the railing of their porch, but now they head to the polls. It's not what our founding fathers intended. If there had been an "Occupy The Continental Congress" movement, the founding fathers would not have been outside doing yoga poses, if you catch my drift.

The sad witch hunt on "welfare queens," that much-hated mythical unicorn of the poor, has been a hot topic since the 80s. It's a great way to keep the average American turned against one another and not focused on that giant sinkhole eating Louisiana, our almost third Middle Eastern war, crazy dudes with guns, failing schools thanks to slashed education budgets (luckily they only slashed those parts of the budgets affecting greedy teachers), debilitatingly unaffordable second-rate healthcare, Wall Street tanking the economy and creepy ass government assassinations and spying.

When you think of hot button issues that have been around for ages that get people really riled up, it's a fairly short list: abortion, equal rights (used to be segregation, but now gay marriage), entitlement programs. . .The common thread here is very simple and very useful: none of this shiz has anything to do with your daily life. Abortion is still mostly legal and you still get up and go to work every day, or the gym or to the donut store. Gay marriages become more and more common and guess what happens to you? Nothing, except more participants in the wedding industry might actually serve to raise prices to an increasingly out of control level. Gramma gets Medicaid, the working and non-working poor get food stamps. Wait a minute! Those fat, selfish, Cheetos-buying pieces of---whoah whoah. Nope, not affecting you. Nothing to be bitter about because trust me, their lives are just as difficult as yours. Nobody's getting what's rightfully yours except for maybe any industry that recently received a government bail-out. Hint: it's not teachers or single moms.

It's no secret that I'm in favor of universal healthcare for many very good reasons, but that's not what we're getting so calm down. Our current system is overpriced, mis-managed and unavailable to millions. I really hope we muster through the year and get a system up and running where people have affordable options to be able to go to the doctor when they chop off their finger building spice racks in the garage because they can't afford to buy a spice rack from the As Seen On TV store. Be decent, help others get healthy, support healthcare reform. Do we want to go back to the days of Potter's Field? I'll save you the trouble of looking that up - Potter's Field was the poor person's cemetery where corpses were tossed in and haphazardly buried in unmarked piles because they couldn't afford gravestones or funerals. It's like a mass grave, but without the genocide.

Here is something to remember while watching the news coverage of our elected officials defecating on our nation: if there is a government shutdown, every single House and Senate member is going to be JUST fine. They're going to survive it ok because they either have lots of money or something to fall back on, or they've prepared themselves for it. Are YOU going to be ok? If you're not, be very aware of who caused it and why.

Anonyblog fun fact: My mother-in-law recently had to google the phrase "coke nail" after reading this blog.

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