God's will is for mankind to make more babies and use up what this great Earth has to offer. Mother Nature is all like get off my back and stop messing everything up, you know I like my planet just so. That's just how women are, always complaining about cleaning up after your friends and kids and junk. They just always want control. . . of the planet.
When there's a terrible, expensive natural disaster and entire villages or cities are underwater or decimated by wind, snow, or earthquakes and hundreds or thousands die and it's unbearably tragic but then there will be this one shot of a baby who survived and a butterfly landing on the baby's forehead and people will be like "Praise Jeebus! He saved this baby!" and it's that teensy ray of hope coming out of the tragedy that makes it possible for the world to feel slightly better that this child will live anonymously in a filthy pit, by surviving that natural disaster. Well that natural disaster isn't climate change - it's just Mother Nature and God arguing. Probably over leaving the toilet seat up or fracking. God is like "my people need jobs!" and Mother Nature is like "but you aren't giving them healthcare to pay for the cancer they'll get from the pollution!" and God's like "Communist! Socialist! Hippie!" God hates those people, that's why they always smell weird.
This planet is so big, how could we possibly have done all of this damage? Ugh my ipod is like seven years old. I should get a new one in a different color. Maybe I can pop into an Apple store on my way to the Range Rover dealership. I would walk, because they're only four blocks away, but it might rain later. Plus, I have two cases of bottled water in the backseat that I need to grab because the supply in my second fridge is almost out and I need to hydrate. If those plastic bottles sit in the car too long, I'll have to throw them all out because I heard, from Cheryl Crow I think, that drinking those could cause breast cancer.
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