The Amish Really Know How To Bake A Gluten-Free Bread

We live very close to an Amish bakery and while it isn't cheap due to the funny beard surcharge on all Amish goods, it's worth it.

We've been in Philly for about five months now and sometimes it's surprising how nice everyone is. Not, like, annoying mid-west nice or fake southern nice that mostly just gently suggests you go away or aren't welcome, but nice. In Connecticut, where I'm originally from, people were very comfortable casually insulting me. I bought some new face acid yesterday, because that and black magic are what keep me looking young, and two salespeople kindly complimented my progress with the witchcraft and ritual ant slaughter that keeps me looking 27. I once walked into a make-up store in Connecticut with a friend of mine and the woman behind the counter gasped at my friend and told her she had a gorgeous milky white complexion and was such a beautiful woman and then she turned to me and asked disgustedly "do you have rosacea?"

Thanks to a Facebook grassroots plank organizer, I've been doing the 30-day plank challenge this month. It's day 20 and I'm up to 2 1/2 minutes of planking. The challenge inspired me to make today my first day back in a yoga studio since before physical therapy for lower back problems, about two years ago. I chose a class whose description made it seem appropriate for the weak, injured, elderly and dead, but I was still nervous. My physical therapist in Connecticut poked me a lot, especially around the middle, and told me I was out of shape and squishy. The class was great: everyone was 70 and much creakier than me and during the first ten minutes, one practitioner was still getting ready by setting up a foam block wall around her mat like she was expecting a yogic Mongolian invasion, and continually blowing her nose. That's about my level.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing some new year health crap, I'm just trying to make friends in my new community. So far, the things I've been doing are great, and fulfilling, but mostly with 65-70 year olds who aren't that into hanging out with me socially. My LinkedIn profile has been viewed by every agency/company I've applied to for a job, but no call backs. It makes me wonder if I should take down the topless profile picture. We live above a bar, which is so noisy that sometimes it feels like I'm at a party. I like going there, but it's a craft beer place typically full of bearded guys with potbellies who like to talk about cheese, so I haven't made many friends because I typically drink white wine. We haven't had any neighbors move in next door so it's just us. Well, they did, but then moved out two days later because of the bar noise. A few days ago, a nice young man who doesn't care about the noise moved in and I'm trying to think of a way to make him be my friend. I would invite him over for dinner, but the two 18 pound cats that live with us kept jumping on our dining room table and snapped a leg into splinters, so now we don't have one. Eating meals in our apartment is uncomfortable because we haven't trained our horde of pets not to jump on people or not to steal food off their plates. I'm told that's off-putting. Be my friend, everyone in Philly!

Happy MLK Day! If you have the day off from work, I hope you were able to find a service project to honor his message today.