Staying positive in the face of a crumbling civilization and deteriorating worldwide morals is tough. My goal is to remind you of all of the good and wonderful things around the world – like marshmallows! And baseball! I want to do my part to keep you out of your survival shack full of canned goods and guns. While the apocalypse might be imminent, I mean, Obama as president? There is still a lot of joy and good out there, like duck ponds!
And how Truffles Corgstein loves babies!
My friend told me recently that she felt trapped by her credit card company because her balance never seemed to go down and I'll offer up some sage advice from our forefathers. Ben Franklin said a penny saved is a penny earned. Why do pennies even still exist? That is dumb advice! He should have said a dollar! Unfortunately, this savings method is only a good idea if you are seven and saving up for a hamburger. What you should do is put all of your money into savings and then try not to use any of it. If you have to take a little bit out to buy food or medicine or shoes that are on sale, it’s ok, because that’s what savings is there for. Also, Thomas Jefferson saved money by being very DIY. He got tired of buying nails, so he had his slaves build a blacksmith shop on his plantation! Think of how many trips you could save to Home Depot buying all of those screws and nails if you just set up your own smithy. Look it up on youtube, it's probably there.
Truffles is a close talker. She likes for you to smell her breath when she has important things to say.
Yay! Everything is fine! Nothing going on to fret about, so don't even touch that newspaper with the Ebola headlines detailing how an entire country is on lockdown, because why worry about a pandemic when you can look at how much my little pooch loves car rides?
Just sit back and do something you enjoy, like savor a chocolate ice cream cone, or steal someone else's chocolate ice cream cone. . .
I wish climate change were fake, too. I'm out of pictures.
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