Having Parents Is Like, Stressful

They just have a special way of putting a stressful spin on every situation.

My dad: Why are you moving? What if you hate it?
My husband's mom: You better save up money for a baby! (to him, not me)
My dad: Those rents are really high. That would scare me. God, what are the lease terms?
My mom: I'm thirsty. I'm dying of thirst.
My husband's mom: You should get a job. Here's a place you can apply to. There are lots of schools in Philly. Do you have a job yet?
My step-mother: I got you some candy and crossword puzzles
My husband's dad:
My mom: What are you making me for lunch?
My dad: Ok, I'm excited to visit
My husband's mom: Cities are dangerous. You should get an alarm system. Do you have a job yet?
My husband's dad:
My mom: How come you never make chicken?

Topping the list of people I'd take telephone calls from at the moment are my husband's dad and my step-mother.