A Food Desert

Do you know what a food desert is? It's when you live in an urban area with a dense population and no grocery store. I live in one. It's a nice neighborhood, lots of professional offices and ivy league students, but I'd be better off living in a ghetto food desert because at least then I would have cheap bodegas and homeless people willing to trade old cans of dented soup for hair and urine samples. Since I live in a nice neighborhood, I have to shop at pretentious little markets with narrow aisles, jacked up prices, and goods made in China but with labels written in Italian.

Last night I was hungry so I went to one looking for an easy-to-heat frozen meal with a low salt and calorie content and a lower price tag and smaller portion than a take-out dish. My local Pretentia-shop had individual-sized frozen organic meals with a price tag of $8.49. This is $4.17 more than what the nearest grocery chain (four miles away) would charge for the same name-brand convenient meal. I left it at the counter when the cashier told me the price and immediately headed for the nearest crappy Chinese restaurant for a greasy, fatty, high sodium meal with appetizer and side of rice for $6.50. I walked, but didn't have to, I could have called and ordered this crappy food pile and had it delivered directly to my mouth via Chinaman on a bicycle. Screw you, Gourmet Heaven, you are contributing to America's obesity problem by charging $1.50 for one banana.