I arranged two dates for us. On the first date, I took him to a cemetery that I like walking around in. Noah Webster and Eli Whitney are both buried there. Is that weird? We gabbed around headstones while sipping Starbucks iced teas. Everyone else around us was dead. I mean, it's not like I wanted to make a game over knocking over and stealing old tombstones.
On our second date, I took him hiking in my favorite park and we got lost for 4 hours. He didn't know this, but I almost ate him for survival. I half wanted him to kiss me so that I could tell whether or not he'd be worth dipping into cannibalism for, and half didn't want him to kiss me because I was tired and dirty and stressed that I got us lost. We discussed whether or not doctors at a Catholic hospital were wrong in encouraging an obese chronically unemployed welfare recipient with Type 2 diabetes and no dad in the picture to take them up on their offer of a free abortion. She didn't want to have an abortion, it would have been her first child, but they reminded her that she couldn't pay for it and her health was already questionable. Can you see why there was never any romance? Now he's happily dating a rabbi and I wish him the best! Thanks for reminding me of the incident, D.
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