Revenge With Poo

For various reasons, I've been compiling a list of ways in which to get revenge in the office using poop.

1) Take a picture frame off of somebody's desk at work, pull off the back and poop in the frame and then seal it back up and put it back on their desk. Is that a wedding photo? No, it's not. . .

2) Poop in somebody's desk drawer on a Friday night - preferably after you've had Mexican for lunch. Finding it is only part of it, letting itsit will ensure the semi-permanence of the smell. Good luck, incense.

3) Poop on someone's keyboard, but then wipe it enough so that they can't see the evidence, but don't clean or sterilize it so that they continually give themselves pinkeye with every e-mail they send.

4) Poop into a tupperware container and put it in the fridge with target's name on it so that it seems like their lunch. This could go so many ways that it might be my favorite pooptastic revenge method.

5) Poop into a Banker's Box and send it to storage or archives. This is a company revenge tactic, not targeting an individual. Poop in storage.

6) Poop into the paper tray of the shared printer or copier. Crappy documents!

7) Poop in your pants at the beginning of a long horrible meeting and crank the heat, seal the windows, and keep asking questions.

8) Poop on a conference room table before a big meeting. Let them walk in on it. Who cleans it? Do they stand around and wait while it gets cleaned?

9) In a shared bathroom, poop with the door open. This one takes serious chutzpah, but if you can pull it off, you win. Make eye contact with everyone that comes in, comment on their outfit, ask about lunch plans.

Nine is my lucky number, so I am stopping there. Feel free to submit ideas.