Ahh politicians and their petty grievances. A cold war with Russia brings back great memories of my childhood. It's just so 80s, isn't it? I can just see paratroopers dropping into school yards and Jennifer Grey taking to the hills to fight back. It's like Russia and America each have a Camaro to prove they don't have small penises and their parents are rich. One thing I'm in favor of with our current president is that we're not really bombing the sh*t out of everything anymore. I approve. Maybe it's naïve to say this, but I feel like sending troops or bombing cities or conducting a badly engineered military intervention is a dying philosophy. Let's keep it up, voters! No more war hawks, am I right? I hope diplomacy keeps everyone safe. It's why I'm anti-Hillary. I also hate hearing "it's her turn" because there is absolutely nothing democratic about that phrase. Umm let's see a fair contest for once. Shut up, Democrats.
I'd like that war hawk thing to go away for good. Another thing I hope we lose, and we might because it's a baby boomer ideal that failed and they're all about to start coping with dementia anyway: the mistaken edict that everybody needs to buy a house. America, I'm sorry that the bank probably foreclosed on your white picket fence because banking regulations were loosened so much that you were given a mortgage you couldn't afford to pay and your credit history clearly showed you were crappy with money anyway. If "get a mortgage" defined the boomer ideal, "go to college" is the one that came next. Thank you for all you've done for my generation and those that followed, Sallie Mae, you dirty rotten fat slimy pile of crap.
My husband works in democratic politics and you know what I've noticed about people who work in politics? They love talking about politics. Love it. But only if you're also in politics.
"Hi, I'm Rachel, I'm married to--"
"Are you in politics? Are you on a campaign?"
"Ahh no, I do something else."
"Oh. That's nice. I'll be right back." *crickets chirping in the empty wilderness*
Well, it's his birthday week, and I really like celebrating his birthday, even if I don't always agree with his support of the giant political machine that has created the bureaucratic standstill we all enjoy today. He's still great. He loves getting gifts (hint hint) and eating sugary treats with candles sticking out of them, so it'll be a good week, even though I pulled a tape worm out of one of my cat's butts this week and had to bring a stool sample to the vet (everyone is fine now). He confessed that he's starting to feel old this year and really not looking forward to Thursday (his big day!). I'm going to cheer him up by getting him another dog. Just kidding. He'd be so pissed. We're just keeping those tape worms as pets. I've named all of the larvae already!
I've learned a lot about my husband in the past few days because we've been practicing a communication exercise called The 10 Day Marriage Challenge. It's a series of nightly top ten lists like "what are the top 10 qualities you like about yourself and why, explain to your partner" and while it sounds cheesy (because it is), I wanted to do it because I didn't know how he'd answer every top 10 for every list prescribed and after reading through the series, I wanted to know. We both chose a dead grand parent for our first guest to dinner in our day 8 top ten list of "if you could invite anyone to dinner, alive or dead, who and why?" Then he ultimately chose a bunch of politicians I'd never heard of and I chose a bunch of writers he'd never heard of. Learning, folks. The other thing we've been doing this week is binge-watching "Marriage Bootcamp: Bridezillas," which has helped us to acknowledge we're doing pretty f**king great in life. That's a show that I'd lump into the category of public service reality t.v. (that's a category I made up) because they take poorly behaved adults from one train wreck reality show and attempt to help those poorly behaved embarrassments of humanity to learn some self-awareness and behave better in a new show. I cry when they have break-throughs in group or one-on-one counseling sessions. So, happy birthday, JKR!
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