When you don't have insurance, do you know who your doctor is? Google. Most of the time, Google thinks I'll be fine and just need to walk it off. If I get a little over-worried, I have to stop bringing my symptoms to Google because then it puts me in the cancer forum and that will ruin my day every time. It's like when my brother googled some check-list and tried to diagnose people as being a sociopath. Practicing psychiatry is not as easy as it seems on the internet.
I had a ridiculous experience at the doctor's office yesterday. I have an ongoing pain and swelling issue in my thigh and now that I have insurance, I felt it warranted a visit to an orthopaedic. He took an x-ray and saw nothing, but you can feel it bulging right out of my thigh sometimes and it can be very painful, so he agreed that he could feel the soft tissue mass and said I should get an MRI because it could be a pulled hammy or a tumor.
*pause*
What did you just say to me? Then he said tumor two more times, wished me a Merry Christmas (because let's put the Christ back in, am I right?) and then had his nurse lead me to the co-pay desk. I think that's one of those words you shouldn't use on a first appointment.
After the appointment, I anxiously calmed myself down with three Kentucky Fried Chicken crispy strips and took stock of the situation. I am very active and eat as many vegetables as the food pyramid tells me and I've had this thing for like a year - wouldn't I have gotten sicker or something? Also, because I'm an ass, I confided in my friend, who is a breast cancer survivor, that my biggest fear would be losing my hair because I have glorious long hair -like full-bodied Charlie's Angels style wavy locks and losing them would be devastating. Ugh wouldn't it suck if this became one of those blogs about a horrible disease and how I was keeping upbeat even though I had to go to the mall with a catheter and eat peas through tubes and then, God forbid, had a fundraising spaghetti dinner? It's not a tumor.
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