I Got Hot-Boxed By A Politician

"Hot-Boxed" is a past-tense verb used to describe a situation in which someone forces you into a one-to-one conversation in which they do all of the talking about the topic of their choice. Unless you are 18, in which case everything just means "to get high." Ever talk to someone who hates their job? They will hot box you about that for like an hour and you can't get a word in edgewise. They will not ask you any questions about yourself and don't even try to give advice, they just want to hot box you. Ever talk to someone who has a gripe about some expensive product they bought for their kid that broke or fell apart? That's a hot-boxin. Ever talk to someone in politics? All they do is hot-box. It's not their fault, their words are so important. . .

I was out with some friends celebrating my birthday when a publicly elected official came over and hot-boxed us. I think he was trying to flirt with my friend, who was dancing in her chair and having a good hair night, but he blew it by hot-boxin' hard. This is a relevant anecdote because it's officially the holiday season - which is also hot-boxing season. During the holiday season, you meet new people and see people you haven't seen in a year or so. That's a lot of time for some heat to build up in their box. They can't wait to see you!

When someone hot-boxes you, just get really close and mouth breathe on them. Your only hope is to make them uncomfortable - unless they are already doing that to you, in which case you'll need to take more forceful measures: fake a heart attack, a phone call, choking, a leg cramp, or a miscarriage.

I am not sure if I'm in for any hot-boxing this week, because I'm headed to my husband's home State for my first Thanksgiving with the in-laws. One of the more challenging parts of marriage is that you basically take on a whole second family who, like your original family, gets to be disappointed and annoyed with everything you do.

Yay, a second jury to contend with!

As far as in-laws go, I have it easy because mine live far away and never come visit. Holiday travel sucks, and I'm worried I'll miss something important at home, like a coupon for a discounted gluten-free pizza. With my own family, if I lose my temper, I know I'll be forgiven if I yell at someone or slap them in a fit of frustration (sometimes that Macy's Parade really pisses me off), but I'm not clear on whether that's cool with my husband's family. Also, this week is my sister's due date and we are getting a second one of these:

Yeeeeeeeee!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!