Showing posts with label I'm a slob. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I'm a slob. Show all posts

Monday, April 28, 2014

Eating Tripe With Your Hands In Public

Last night was my first experience at a Filipino Salo. I'd been eating Filipino food all week, so I was already prepared enough not to be worried about eating tripe or quail eggs.

The long tables were lined with banana leaves and we each got a paper napkin and a plastic cup for our drinks. Garlic rice was scooped out into mounds in a steady line going down the long table set with thirty chairs. Every five people or so, a dish full of peppered vinegar was poured out and a circle of fried mesentary was placed around. Mesentary is chitlins, or chitterlings. They look like little dumplings made of scrotum, but they tasted pretty good.

On one side of the rice mounds, a dish with lots of vegetables, tomato-y broth, chickpeas, ham hocks and tripe was scooped out. On the other side was a fried noodle dish with quail's eggs, roast chicken and mushrooms. So basically, you reach out and pull handfuls of food toward you across the banana leaf. I kept forgetting not to lick my fingers so much because I'd be sticking them back into a communal pile of food, and I also had a hard time resisting the urge to clean my fingers with my paper napkin after every bite. I'm just conditioned to mitigate my slovenliness and wasn't prepared for this much acceptance. My husband leaned over to me halfway through the meal and whispered "I wish I washed my hands before we started."

After those two dishes, we were rewarded with a pork dish, boiled in sugar and vinegar with banana blossoms and that was my favorite, except for dessert, which was the best flan I've ever had, ever.

There were a lot of Filipino Americans at the dinner, which was nice, because it's not a culture I'm extremely knowledgeable about, but it's at times a hybrid Latin-Asian dynamic because The Philippines was once colonized by the Spanish. They got a lot of American t.v. shows, but not The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, so nobody understood when I was showing them my dog Truffles honoring greatness:


The dinner table was full of good conversation, bottles of beer and wine (bring your own) and I think it was the first time I ate with my hands in a well-lit setting in front of other people as an adult. I typically save that sort of behavior for dark closets when nobody is around. Here is the aftermath:


The staging for a pop-up dinner is intense. This food-circus travels from State to State, finds a location, figures out the local food scene and tests recipes before the big dinner. On the side, they are continuing the marketing to get people to buy tickets in advance and to get newspapers and food blogs to mention them, and they have about 40 States to go. Next week, New Jersey and the week after is Connecticut. In CT, they are staying with my parents, who will probably love this. After dinner, my husband and I were comparing our parents' potential reactions to eating with fingers off of banana leaves in front of strangers at a communal table. We agreed that if his parents went, they would look around, and his dad would immediately go to the bathroom, sneak out and wait in the car with the doors locked until it was over. His mom would probably hang out and see what it was about, but ultimately might not eat. I think my parents will dig it, and I hope they do me proud by being the sloppiest at the table. It was fun, I learned a lot, and I got messy. I had flan for breakfast.

www.thesaloproject.com

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Hello Holiday Muffin-Top

My birthday is in two weeks and I know what I want: everyone's leftover Halloween candy. My husband gets anxious about buying me gifts because he's worried I won't like it, but really I like everything. The problem is, I break or lose everything, so nobody should give me anything nice. Last year he gave me a beautiful necklace with my birthstone and currently, I can't find it. I haven't done a hard search yet, but I'll get to that and I'm sure it'll turn up. All of my clothes pretty much have a food or wine stain somewhere on them that won't ever come out. A really thoughtful gift for me is probably a nice rubber big-girl bib (if you already ate all your Halloween candy like a pig).

Christmas commercials started airing while I was watching my nieces and nephews prepare for trick-or-treating. So pull that Halloween witch off your door, spray paint it white and stick it on top of a tree. Also, get ready to feel like your life is totally inadequate unless someone has given you a tablet, a new car wrapped in a giant red bow or a diamond ring. Can't we just start slow with a few cranberry sauce commercials to get warmed up? We have to jump right on Santa's lap November 1st?

"My" holidays are all in a crunch this year. If you haven't heard, Hanukkah overlaps Thanksgiving to form Thanksgivukkah. Latkes and turkey at the same table? Yes, please. Also, Truffles turns 1 on November 29th. Hanukkah is probably the most festive of Jewish holidays, because most are pretty depressing and revolve around planting trees, not eating, apologizing to people or slavery - but Hanukkah is about setting fires and eating foods cooked in oil, which is a less fatty sounding way of saying "fried." Traditional Hanukkah dessert? Jelly donut. Keep your cheap Christmas tree-shaped sugar cookies, Santa, I'm all set. To prepare, today was my first day of having a workout in about a week. I missed a week because I was getting over my third cold in a month. My kidneys hurt from all of the DayQuil I've been taking and everyone is really sleepy from me keeping them up all night with my hacking cough. My grandfather on my mother's side had one leg, emphysema and asbestosis. He was confined to a wheelchair and kept a paper bag strapped to the side so he could spit into it all day long as he coughed things up. That's been me, I've been Grampa Fox for about a week, but I'm on the mend. He also liked to drink and one time my grandmother cut off his booze supply and the police caught him rolling his wheelchair up a highway ramp trying to get to the liquor store. Happy Holidays!