Once again, I almost died trying to get fit. . .

I like to stay active and workout, aiming for 7 days a week. Once in a while, I will go above and beyond my normal routine of walking a few miles, weight training, lunging and crunching and take a class like zumba or spin. I am not coordinated, I sweat a lot when I push myself, and I have hit strangers or myself getting the moves wrong.

I am currently on an island off of Seattle visiting a few friends-one of whom took a 60 day challenge called INSANITY. I should have known better, based on the name of the DVD series, that this was a fitness regime out of my league. I don't try to date guys like Alcide from True Blood because I am a realist, but once again, I have over-reached my physical abilities and pretended to be more fit than I am to work out with my friend on DAY 60 of her challenge.

Before starting, Carla asked if we needed to wear sneakers. Two minutes in, Lynn took off her pants. Eight minutes in, Carla took off her top and I stopped to sit outside for a few minutes and read a book. Everyone in the video was fit and hard-bodied, but also not able to keep up. The people in the video were wearing heart monitors, crying, taking breaks, walking off camera for a few minutes -and I swear a guy in the back row hung himself from the gymnasium rafters, but nobody seemed to have caught that but me. It was horrible and I sweated and panted and made myself nauseous through the whole video. I took a lot of breaks and slumped on the sofa so I didn't pass out. I cursed the television and so did everyone else. We all met in grad school, but this video turned us into sweaty truckers who just swear a lot. One member of the group is 57 and defended her performance by saying the people in the video were half her age. Bitch.

INSANITY is effing hard, even for fit people who do workout videos. I think that means it's actually not healthy or a good idea. I am just going to take a long walk and maybe pass up that second cookie. Ok, or maybe have the second cookie, but no ice cream. . . go to hell, INSANITY dvd.