Ohh relatives

Thanksgiving weekend was fun - and my grandmother couldn't make the annual Thanksgiving-Sunday potluck because Grandpa No. 4's fake hip was bothering him and Gramma didn't want to leave him alone. This could have been contrived - a few years ago he faked falling off a ladder to avoid going to his son's wedding. He pretended to be in the hospital for a while, then pretended to be going for physical therapy while wearing a brace - it was a very detailed fake injury.

The potluck was me, a few aunts and some cousins and their babies - it was fun. Babies are fun. . . ish. Holidays make you talk to family that you don't necessarily communicate with on a daily basis - puts you back in touch, even if briefly or temporarily and leads to emails like the one I got today from my cousin "J" that was an advertisement she saw on Craigslist for an organization looking for women of Jewish heritage between the ages of 18-32 willing to donate their eggs for $8,000. She followed up with some im-chatting that is funniest in its accuracy:

J: How old are you? Would you ever consider donating your eggs for 8k a piece?
me: I'm too old
J: They want 18-32
me: I know
J: I emailed you the info.
me: i'm too old
J: Aren't you not 32
me: KEEP HARPING ON IT BECAUSE EVERY WOMAN LOVES BEING REMINDED THAT HER EGGS ARE DRIED UP RAISINS
ASK ME AGAIN
PLEASE, I LOVE THIS GAME
YAYYAYAYAYAAA!!!
it's like a rollercoaster it's so fun!
J: Your eggs aren't dried up raisins.
My boss had her son at 40.
I was thinking of being a surrogate.
I'm not sure if they will let me though.
me: don't you think you'd get emotionally attached?
did you see Baby mama?
J: Yea. I loved that movie!
me: haha
J: No. I won't get emotionally attached. I will go through the process of an egg getting implanted into me.
And I have 3 of my own.
I do not want another.
me: it pays and you have a proven track record of success for carrying babies
J: Yes. I would need the clear from the OBGYN though due to 3 csections. And a couple might not want their baby to be born via csection.
me: unless you let them do the c-section while all of their friends watched?
J: I don't care if the couple is present. That's not up to me. That is up to the surgeon, and hospital.

Now I have to tell you - I love her and she is funny and smart and cute and has 3 really amazing kids - but her thinking is almost always different from the thinking of everyone else I know on the planet. I say that with love. Our conversation then went this way:

J: so...
call me crazy
I responded to a surrogate wanted ad
I am a bit hesitant; what if they are killers??
me: hopefully they will only kill the baby and not you
where was the ad? do some research first and find out where to meet decent people.
if it was craig's list then I'm guessing it was a black market baby ring
J: seriously omfg
me: was it craig's list?
bubbeleh, we have had the weirdest conversations today - I am blogging about you, sorry
J: yes
LOL!!
I was just washing dishes wishing I would be the subject of your blog one day.
yes it was craigs
me: haha well you won't soon enough. . .
J: nah
so
answer me!!!
it was craigs
Am I now targeted for murder????
me: holy hell
yes - look at that email address and his name doesn't match up with the name on the email - what is park madison?
out of state area code?
NO
come on!
J: nyc
917
me: yeah - a big city where you don't know anybody and cell phones are IMPOSSIBLE to trace
wasn't the craig's list killer named craig?
it's a rape and murder ring for sure
J: omfg are you serious?!?!?!?!
me: yes
J: omfg
me: you can't have a baby for people you found on craigs list
i draw the line
I'm calling that number
it's just ringing and ringing
there is no message for the voicemail
J: leave a message
but dont say my name
me: no way - it's a warning sign
don't ever email those people again
ask your gyn how to find surrogate families?
reach out to a fertility clinic
my gyno is in one
J: I emailed the FBI
I am that fucking freaked out!!
Yes that is my gyno too.
I will call and ask them.
Fuck Rachel
I sent him a picture
I'm so scared, and I feel like an idiot.
DO NOT tell anyone about this please.
They could be obtaining my information from my PC as we speak!!!
me: ok, I won't tell anyone about that part
good idea - emailing the FBI
these people cannot do any damage
you didn't give away any secure information
J: what if they're pinging my ip via email.
People are smart.
They can tell my ip from where the email came from.
me: you are a techie
J: omfg