ANONYBLOG TURNS 1 TODAY!!!

Yay! I still have nothing better to do with my spare time than bitch about the world on the internet! This is what I do with myself since nobody will publish my books: Run Away to Impress Your Friends and Family or Eat Pray Go Fuck Yourself, give me a t.v. show, or loan me their daughter to enter into a beauty pageant that will get us featured on TLC. Do I think it's a waste of time? No, not when I look at the stats and realize that this blog has been read more than 5,800 times since I started by readers in 13 different countries. Thank you, Latvia. I don't know who you are, or whether you got here accidentally looking for geriatric porn, but I'm glad you popped in and I'm eternally grateful for your comments, feedback and readership and especially grateful for when you share the blog with others.

I am a loudmouth, self-absorbed, mildly racist and inappropriate buffoon who has an opinion on just about everything. As my mother would say, opinions are like a-holes: everybody has one and they all stink. When people say nice things about my blog, it makes me feel less and less as if I'm more likely to get federally indicted than published in my adult life, and I appreciate that. Blogspot can't send me rejection letters and thank god because that drawer is overflowing. Ok, that room. Thank you, thank you dear interweb. Since the first anniversary gift is supposed to be paper - how about somebody publishes my effing books? Ok, enough of that. To celebrate this anniversary, I'm going to be posting all of the stories that people have shared with me in the hope that I would blog about it. I hope you enjoy reading the words of people I love. Want to write a guest post? Lemme know.

Here is a picture for you of a man who used to sell shrimp out of a dirty cart in front of my apartment in Tangshan, China. How yummy does that look? This will do more for you than Jenny Craig, if you know what I mean. . .