Is it weird to put a dab of frosting on stir-fry thai noodles? No? Ok, good.

JKR is totally cool with all of my shenanigans and was even willing, when I woke him up in the middle of the night to make this request, to carry me to the bathroom and place me gently on the toilet because I was too tired to get out of bed. I may have been drunk.

We are about to take a major step in our relationship this weekend. We're going to have sex. Just kidding. I am going to introduce him to my grandmother. Madeline is a hell of a woman and barely leaves home to come to family events anymore because Grandpa #4 has a fake hip and a prostate the size of a cannonball so long drives are uncomfortable. I once saw this woman haggle with my uncle, her son, at a tag sale of mostly her stuff over the price she wanted him to pay for a "#1 Mom" mug that he had probably given her. She is a hilarious lady and I loosely based a character in my first book on her antics.

I called her to tell her we'd be in her neighborhood and to ask if we could drop in. Grammy has officially met three of my previous boyfriends and I believe I hold the record for these introductions. She asked if it was the same boyfriend she met last time and I said no, I upgraded to a newer model. She said she was disappointed because she liked that one and I said yeah, but he tried to sell me for cocaine in the third world. "Oh. . . yeah, you don't want that in your life. That's bad. Ok, see you Sunday and he can come, he doesn't have to wait in the car." As one of the very few of my relatives that would actually give me an opinion on a guy I am dating, I am interested in what she has to say. Actually, she is likely to give me the opinion while he's sitting right there and she also talks loudly because she is mostly deaf: HE LOOKS VERY JEWISH. HE'S SKINNY. WE HAVE TO GO NOW.

She's great, I'm excited to see her now that she has moved back to the Northeast and I will be entertained by JKR awkwardly trying to relate pleasantly to the elderly. I hope it's as good as him wanting to put his hands over his head where everyone can see them if a small child stands too close to him.