Can I get an Amen y'all? I'm sorry I didn't mention that earlier, but yes, I'm thrilled. Now I can keep getting my welfare checks and government abortions. Didn't the government also used to give out cheese? Let's bring that back.
Romney's got a weak campaign and that's because of his biggest personal weakness: he's a rich douchebag. This could hurt him in the polls, particularly the pole I'd like to use to smack him in the face.
You know who should run for president? That mayor in New Jersey that pulled his neighbor out of a burning building. I want him to run for everything - I don't even know what party he's with, but who can't get behind that? Politics is really just about convincing stupid people you're going to help them when you're really not ever going to help them, which means I've won the game by running my candidate who pulls ladies out of fires. BAM!
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