Why Can't Unsolicited Advice Ever Be Useful?

Like, tell me I need new tires, because I'm not sure.

It doesn't need to be hammered home by friends, relatives, medical professionals, medical administrative staff, websites and dumb t.v. shows that a pregnant woman of "advanced" age is at greater risk (often by as little as 1%) for a pregnancy involving some birth defects, chromosomal abnormalities and complications. You THINK you are helping by mentioning it a hundred times that I am old, but all I want is to stab my car key into your eye and punch you in the spine a bunch of times. If you want to provide educated advice on whether I have worn down the soles too much on my sneakers, ok, that's fine because I'm not really sure about that either, but otherwise unless you are offering me a time machine option that would allow me to travel back and ruin my 20s, shut your pie hole before I shut it for you.

And why am I supposed to "need" all of this baby gear? A special trash can just for dirty diapers? That's ridiculous, I'm just going to throw them over the fence into my neighbor's yard like I do with the cat litter. Why waste all that extra plastic? Turds are fertilizer, that's what I keep telling my neighbor. A special thing for the baby to sit in, plus a separate thing for it to lay in, plus a separate thing that swings it? No, the floor is fine and if more movement is needed we will move to an earthquake zone.

Also, what's with all these eating restrictions? What do Japanese women eat when they are pregnant? Oh, sushi? Yeah, I thought so. Dangit, 'Merica, first Donald Trump and now this? His primary success makes me realize my fellow countryfolk are dumber and more selfish than I thought. You fucking idiots, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how hard it will be to clean up that mess? Goddamnit, I don't even know what to do with you, anymore.

I like Jill Stein and Bernie, but not a huge Hillary fan. My husband says Bernie's campaign isn't fair because he's not a doer, he's a shouter. He's always been on the fringes of Congress shouting his opinion and that's not presidential. My husband is also literally an establishment Democrat. I will give this to Hillary - as someone who is married to and often disagrees with a dude who works in establishment Democratic politics, it's bullshit linking Bill Clinton's shitty actions to her candidacy. Her husband is a pig and a selfish shithead - lots of women who are smart and likeable in their own right are married to shitheads, that doesn't diminish their professional worth. When you marry a man, you simply run that very high risk that they will turn out to be shitheads. No more of that silly argument.