The Average College Freshman Was Not Alive At The Same Time As Kurt Cobain

I don't know about you, but I had a great weekend. Friday night was girls night and I tried to go home at 9. My friends made me stay out drinking until it was just late enough to acceptably dance somewhere. The DJ wouldn't play the songs I kept requesting (Salt'n'Peppa's Push It and M.I.A. Bad Girls) and they told me it was too early for hip hop. I was finally allowed to go home when one of my friends got heartburn. I didn't get home until midnight! Geez, it's a workday, who has that much energy at the end of the week? I'm still recovering from trying to give up caffeine. I only lasted two days before I caved and had a cup of coffee, but that two days lacking caffeine made me really tired.

I went to a family cookout Saturday poolside. The poolside part was my excuse to not wear pants the entire day. Was that awkward for everyone else? Probably. Sunday, I dragged my husband to New York to look at flowers in the botanical garden. They recreated Monet's gardens as an exhibit in the main conservatory at the New York Botanical Garden and he enjoyed pretending to others that he was doing it because I was making him, but really, he just doesn't want people to know he enjoyed looking at flowers.

So yes, I am feeling really old. It's amazing how quickly this all came on. I have been working with the elderly for a while and we often run errands and play UNO and I love it all. My first errand with an 84 year old involved packing up all of her telephones and bringing them to Radio Shack to have them tested. Nothing was wrong with them, but she wanted Radio Shack to tell her when they would break and if they were ok. One of the phones was a lime green analog telephone that she got for free from the telephone company in 1988. Radio Shack doesn't offer that "testing" service (did they used to?), but it was fun watching her describe what she wanted to an 18 year old cashier. At one point she got flustered and just said "Well, if you don't know nothing, then I can't ask you nothing." Wise words. The work has changed my perspective on the elderly. There is a Clorox Wipes commercial that I can't find on youtube in which a grandpa has two raw chickens dancing like marionette puppets on the coffee table while being serenaded by the crappy musical instruments of 5-6 year old kids. Like this:

It's funny and we laughed when we saw it and JKR asked me what I would do if I came home and my father was doing that with my kids. Put him in a home. I love the elderly and think they should be respected and revered, but salmonella is no joke. Remember that show "Dinosaurs" (Not the Momma?) and again, I'm old, and Hurling Day?

How much money would this save the U.S. government? Let's face it anybody under 45, we're never going to be able to afford the baby boomers' retirement - I'd like everyone to consider Hurling Day - on your 72nd birthday, you get hurled into a tar pit for the good of the tribe. No? Too dark?